There are some warning signs that a relationship is developing into a relationship where mental or physical abuse becomes a common feature of everyday life.

Warning signs

“In a relationship, you have to compromise”.

It’s hard to know at the beginning of a relationship if the compromises that are made are of the kind that everyone does when two people become a couple or if they imply restrictions on the personal sphere. There are some warning signs that the relationship can develop into a relationship where mental or physical abuse becomes a common feature of everyday life.

16 warning signs to take seriously. Your partner …

1. is controlling

They want to know who you’re talking to, who you’re hanging out with, what friends you have on Facebook, wherever you are and what you do. He/she blends in your work. They try to prevent you from having good contact with your family and friends and also preventing you from having a good relationship with his/her family and friends.

2. acts unpredictably

He/she get sudden outbreaks without any specific reason. He/she responds completely differently to the same situation from time to time. What was said yesterday does not apply today. His/her mood swings make you never know what’s going to happen next.

3. sexual harassment

He/she forces you to have sex when you do not want to. He/she forces you to join sexual acts that you find unpleasant.

4. make you look crazy

He/she deny things that you both know have happened, for example, that he/she has violated you. He/she claim you lie or imagine. He/she make you doubt what you’ve heard and seen, even doubting your understanding. “I’ve never said!” “You have to be crazy” “You’ll just find that up!”

5. threatens physical damage

He/she break things in your home. He/she threatens to hurt you or someone you like. He/she drive so fast and carelessly that you fear your life when he/she is angry.

6. Expects and Requires Impossible Things of You

He/she requires unreasonable things from you, for example, to be sexually available all the time. You will let go of everything you have for hands as soon as he/she want something from you. He/she are never happy no matter your efforts.

7. Calling You at Offensive Name

He/she calls you idiot, bitch, whore or other depressing words.

8. retains their feelings

He/she retains feelings. He/she can be busy for several days in a row without telling what’s wrong. He/she thinks that many things are not of your concern. He/she refuses to plan the future with you. He/she refuses to show tenderness. If you are trying to initiate a conversation then he/she answers with silence or answers something like “There is nothing to talk about” or “you’re not interested”.

9. accuse you and treat you as if you were his/her enemy

He/she accuses and baffles you. He/she treats you as if you were your enemy. “You just want trouble”, “You attack me”, “You never leave me alone”.

10. seems blocking and derivative

When you try to talk with the person about something you think is important, then you’re blocked. Example: “Who asked your opinion?” “Bullshit!” “You think you know everything”.

11. trivialize your feelings

What you think is important is just bad. What you managed does not mean nothing. He/she is ignoring your thoughts, feelings and what you managed.

12. Think you’re wrong, all the time

You express your opinions or how you experience something. He/she only argues and claims that you are wrong. Example: You: “It’s a little cold tonight.” He: “It’s not cold, it’s cool!” Or: “Serving took too long.” You: “I did not think we were waiting for so long. You are wrong!”.

13. make fun at your expense

They say things that violate or hurt you and when you talk about it, you’ll hear “Don’t you stand a joke or?”

14. forget and ignore

He/she “forgets” what you have agreed upon. He/she never does the things he/she promised you, but say that soon they will do it, but now when you’re nagging they lost the lust.

15. criticize and accuse you

They criticize and accuse you of a lot of things. You’re too sensitive, too excited, too thick, too narrow, too talkative, too silent. You are stupid. You’re never satisfied. Critics can also be more insulted as “good advice” when they make sense of “wanting to help you improve”. They can also tell you about your mistakes when you hang out with others and make you feel stupid.

16. gives you orders

He/she speaks to you as if you were his/her servant. Example: “Clean up here”, “You do not wear those clothes!”, “Now we go!”, “No discussion!”

Text: Thowe Wagner Larsson, Må