The normalization process

What does the violence spiral look like?

The term normalization refers to the fact that violence is gradually perceived as a normal element of everyday life. This happens because the limits of what is accepted are pushed forward.

Isolation is when the partner shields the woman from the outside world in various ways, preventing her from contacting friends and relatives. This means that the woman’s living space is shrinking. It may be by jealousy, control of who she is hanging out or having contact with. In the beginning of the relationship, it can be interpreted as consideration.

Violence gradually increases when women’s borders slowly but surely blurt out. When the first battle comes, the woman becomes shocked, but forgives often, as her limits for what has been accepted have already changed. Violence, whatever it means, becomes an almost normal feature of everyday life. It will be normalized. Therefore, it is also difficult to break out of the relationship.

Adaptation to violence – Normalization

One way of dealing with violence can be to try and calm the partner in order not to be exposed to the abuse. She can admit what is laid for her or agree to do some things she does not want, just to get peace and quiet. Adaptation begins as a way to end the violence, but eventually becomes more and more a way to survive.

Switch between violence and warmth.

The perpetrator alternates between being loving and caring to be menacing, punitive and violent. The happy and cozy moments together makes that hope brought that everything will be good again.


Violence comes in waves.

Escalation => violence => forgiveness => warmth=> escalation => => violence => forgiveness


Power and control are central concepts in an offensive relationship. The victim might finally begins to see himself through his partner’s eyes and blame him/herself for the excuses, threats and beats.


The violence’s explanation has nothing to do with how the perpetrator is; The cause is placed outside the perpetrator and is instead related to the exposed person or circumstances around. The longer the time goes, the more the exposed person is the reason.

The normalization process can look different, partly over time and partly in what is happening in the relationship. The process (especially the shift between violence and warmth) is what makes it difficult for the victim to leave his partner.

Living in violence has consequences for both the victim and the subject. Violence may be perceived as a normal part of everyday life. This makes it difficult to interpret what you perceive as violence, and it is also difficult to break up and distance yourself from the violence. Violence can also change over time. It can escalate by exposing all those who expose and to those who are subjected to “normalizing” all the greater violence. *

[* Per Isdal- “Opinion of Violence”]